Gay alvin and the chipmunks
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My phone’s out of battery!”
“NO!” The taxi driver yelled, “Get out of my car, NOW!”
He moved his hairy Brooklyn hand to the back and smacked Alvin, Simon, and their luggage out of the automobile. The nightmare was finally over.
Simon handed one of the newborns to Alvin: “For you.”
Alvin took the child out of Simon’s left arm, grabbing it gently.
Hey, taxi driver. Could you at least notify some paramedics of our location before you bounce!? (Fun fact, he landed directly on his stomach.)
Simon picked himself up off the ground, ran over to his impregnated incestual brother, and reached for his paw. They’re speciesists, Alvin.”
“Is that a word or technicality for species racists?” Alvin asked, still crying, and his voice all wobbly.”
“I…” Simon paused, “I think so…”
Alvin and Simon continued to be in a hug until a taxi arrived, parking right next to them.
There was brief crying from them for a moment, but as quick as the crying started, it soon turned to silence. On October 2nd, TikToker @polar.j posted a video of some bad-tasting pasta over the sound, gaining over 5.1 million views in two months (shown below, left). The Brooklyn taxi driver laughed semi-maniacly before the doors closed automatically and he drove off.
Simon, besides a tiny bruise on his elbow, was perfectly fine, and the bag they incased their belongings in remained intact, without any holes being opened or any material being torn.
Simon approached the boxes, and, using his razor-sharp claws, cut both of them open with ease.
Can we change our destination?”
The taxi driver rolled his eyes: “Alright, fine. It hurt too much. Due to the excessive amount of weight he’s collected due to his pregnancy, he's become too heavy to even leave two feet off the ground, a task that would’ve been no problem for him, but now IS thanks to his ass becoming fat with babies.
After tossing the bags in, the two chipmunks cuddled into each other for warmth, as the door closed and the car started to move.
The pain in Alvin’s stomach started to worsen.
Two rectangular objects shot out of his asshole slobbered in the male-body-equivalent to a female’s vaginal fluids. Only this time, Simon remembered to use protection.
END CRAP FANFICTION
Notes:
Hope you enjoyed this crazily weird ass fanfiction.
Theodore Is Gay
- Meme
- Status
- Confirmed
- Type:
- Lip Dub, Viral Video
- Year
- 2021
- Origin
- TikTok
- Tags
- the chipmunks, alvin and the chipmunks, theodore alvin, femur breaker, the femur breaker, all the single ladies, alvin meme, theodore meme
About
Theodore Is Gay refers to a viral video of Alvin and the Chipmunks character Theodore strapped into a femur breaker while Alvin describes how Theodore is gay and he hates him so he's going to kill him.
After that, we’ll book into a hotel and stay there until the babies arrive.”
Alvin began to break down into tears: “Simon… I’m scared.”
“Don’t be.” Simon said reassuringly, approaching Alvin for a brotherly hug, “There’s nothing we could’ve done. Then, months later, Bagdasarian dropped the first single to feature the vocal trio of Simon,...
See full article at Cracked
Chapter Text
After several hours of arguing with their diabetic brother and caretaker about the complexities of life and the severe consequences of their actions, Alvin and Simon decided to pack up and leave the house, taking their records, clothes, a few rations, and many other things.
But, I’m increasin’ the cost of the drive by 25 per cent, got it?” (NOTE: The taxi driver is from Brooklyn.)
“Yes,” Simon replied in compliance, “Could you drive us to the nearest hospital, please?”
The taxi driver nodded. The taxi driver, using a button on the car’s front seat terminal, opened the left back seat door for them.