Gay or european lyrics
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Every eight bars feels like a tennis match: gay? European? Each leans on sudden dynamic shifts and Latin-flavored percussion to keep the party breathless.
Shoes, swagger, and sexuality collide again. Right There! The lyric pits two ideas against each other — is Nikos gay or just foreign?
Elle spots a clue (the famous ‘bend-and-snap’ misfire) and guesses Nikos’s secret. The verses volley between Elle Woods’s razor-sharp observations, Professor Callahan’s blustery logic, and a jury box of baffled classmates. Lyrics — Legally Blonde
Song Overview
Song Credits
- Featured: Amber Efe, Kate Shindle, Laura Bell Bundy, Manuel Herrera, Matthew Risch & the Legally Blonde Ensemble
- Producers: Kurt Deutsch & Joel Moss
- Composers/Lyricists: Nell Benjamin & Laurence O’Keefe
- Release Date: July 17, 2007
- Album: Legally Blonde – The Musical (Original Broadway Cast Recording), Track 15
- Genre: Broadway Pop / Show Tune
- Instruments: Pit orchestra (piano, guitars, reed trio, brass, percussion, strings)
- Length: 3 minutes 26 seconds
- Label: Sh-K-Boom / Ghostlight
- Mood: Zany courtroom cabaret
- Language: English
- Copyright © 2007 Benjamin & O’Keefe / Ghostlight Records
Song Meaning and Annotations
“There!
Right There!” dissects orientation myths across the witness stand. Right there!
Look at that tanned, well tended skin
Look at the killer shape he's in
Look at that slightly stubbly chin
Oh, please, he's gay
Totally gay!
[Callahan:]
I'm not about to celebrate
Every trait could indicate
A totally straight expatriate
That guy's not gay
I say not gay
[Callahan, Elle, Warner, Vivienne, Brooke & Enid:]
That is the elephant in the room
Well, is it relevant to assume
That a man who wears perfume
Is automatically, radically fae?
[Emmett:]
But look at his coiffed and crispy locks
[Elle:]
Look at his silk translucent socks
[Callahan:]
There's the eternal paradox
Look what we're seein'
[Vivienne:]
What are we seein'?
[Callahan:]
Is he gay?
[Elle:]
Of course he's gay!
[Callahan:]
Or European?
[Callahan, Elle, Warner, Vivienne, Brooke & Enid:]
Oh...
Gay or European?
It's hard to guarantee
Is he gay or European?
[Warner:]
Well, hey, don't look at me!
[Vivienne:]
You see they bring their boys up different
In those charming foreign ports
They play peculiar sports
[Callahan, Elle, Warner, Vivienne, Brooke & Enid:]
In shiny shirts and tiny shorts
Gay or foreign fella?
The answer could take weeks
They both say things like "Ciao, Bella"
While they kiss you on both cheeks
[Elle:]
Oh, please
[Callahan, Elle, Warner, Vivienne, Brooke & Enid:]
Gay or European?
So many shades of gray
[Warner:]
Depending on the time of day
The French go either way
[Callahan, Elle, Warner, Vivienne, Brooke & Enid:]
Is he gay or European, or?
[Enid:]
There, right there!
Look at that condescending smirk
Seen it on every guy at work
That is a metro, hetero jerk
That guy's not gay, I say, no way
[Callahan, Elle, Warner, Vivienne, Brooke & Enid:]
That is the elephant in the room
Well is it relevant to presume
That a hottie in that costume
[Vivienne:]
Is automatically, radically
[Callahan:]
Ironically, chronically
[Enid:]
Certainly, flirtingly
[Warner:]
Genetically, medically
[Callahan, Elle, Warner, Vivienne, Brooke & Enid:]
Gay, offically gay
Swishily gay, gay, gay, gay...
Damn it!
Gay or European?
[Callahan:]
So stylish and relaxed
[Callahan, Elle, Warner, Vivienne, Brooke & Enid:]
Is he gay or European?
[Callahan:]
I think his chest is waxed
[Vivienne:]
But they bring their boys up different there
It's culturally diverse
It's not a fashion curse
[Callahan, Elle, Warner, Vivienne, Brooke & Enid:]
If he wears a kilt or bears a purse
Gay or just exotic?
I still can't crack the code
[Brooke:]
Yeah, his accent is hypnotic
But his shoes are pointy toed
[Callahan, Elle, Warner, Vivienne, Brooke & Enid:]
Huh
Gay or European?
So many shades of gray
[Judge:]
But if he turns out straight
I'm free at eight on Saturday
[Callahan, Elle, Warner, Vivienne, Brooke & Enid:]
Is he gay or European?
Gay or European?
Gay or Euro-
[Emmett:]
Wait a minute
Give me a chance to crack this guy
I have an idea I'd like to try
[Callahan:]
The floor is yours
[Emmett:]
So, Mr Argitakos
This alleged affair with Ms.
Wyndham has been going on for...?
[Nikos:]
Two years
[Emmett:]
And your first name again is...?
[Nikos:]
Nikos
[Emmett:]
And your boyfriend's name is...?
[Nikos:]
Carlos
I-I, sorry!
I misunderstand!
You say "boyfriend"
I thought you say "best friend"
Carlos is my best friend
[Carlos:]
You bastard!
You lying bastard!
That's it, I no cover for you no more!
Peoples, I have a big announcement
This man is gay and European
[Ensemble:]
Whoa!
[Carlos:]
And neither is disgrace
You gotta stop your bein'
A completely closet case
It's me, not her he's seein'
No matter what he say
I swear he never, ever, ever swing the other way
You are so gay, you big parfait
You flaming one man cabaret
[Nikos:]
I'm straight!
[Carlos:]
You were not yesterday
So if I may, I'm proud to say
He's gay
[Ensemble:]
And European!
[Carlos:]
He's gay
[Ensemble:]
And European!
[Carlos:]
He's gay
[Ensemble:]
And European
And gay
[Nikos:]
Fine, okay, I'm gay
[Carlos/Ensemble:]
Hooray!
The judge’s couplet flexes: with a male judge the rhyme is “gay/Saturday,” with a female judge it turns to “straight/eight.”
Each time someone mispronounces Mr. Enid’s academic bravado pops the groupthink bubble, reminding us that labels can be weapons as much as shortcuts.
Confession Finale
“You are so gay, you big parfait / You flaming one-man cabaret”
Carlos’s flamboyant takedown is half-prosecution, half-love letter.
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Writer(s): Laurence O'Keefe, Nell Benjamin
Realizing the slip, Nikos scrambles to backpedal.
Carlos, tired of the lie, outs their relationship and torpedoes Brooke’s supposed motive.
The courtroom gasps —
This man is gay and European!— stunned he can be both.
Right There!
Look at that condescending smirk.
Seen it on every guy at work.
That is a metro-hetro jerk.
That guy's not gay, i say no way.
All:
That is the elephant in the room.
Well is it relevant to presume
that a hottie in that costume
Elle:
Is automatically-radically
Calahan:
ironically-cronically
Vivian:
scurtinly-curtainly
Warner:
genetically-netically
All:
GAY!
OFFICIALLY GAY!
OFFICIALLY GAY GAY GAY GAY
DAMMIT
Gay or European?
Calahan:
So stylish and relaxed.
All:
Is he gay or European?
Calahan:
I think his chest is waxed.
Vivian:
But they bring their boys up different there.
It's culturally diverse.
It's not a fashion curse.
All:
If he wears a kilt or bears a purse.
Gay or just exotic?
I still can't crack the code.
Brooke:
Yet his accent is hypnotic
but his shoes are pointy toed.
All:
Huh.
Gay or European?
So many shades of gray.
Judge:
But if he turns out straight I'm free at 8 on saturday.
All:
Is he gay or European?
gay or european?
Gay or Euro-
Emmett:
Wait a minute!
Give me a chance to crack this guy.
I have an idea I'd like to try.
Calahan:
The floor is yours.
Emmett:
So Mr.
Argitacos...
This alleged affair with Ms. Windam has been going on for...?
Ricos:
2 years.
Emmett:
And your first name again is...?
Nicos:
Nicos.
Emmett:
And your boyfriend's name is...?
Nicos:
Carlos.
I'm sorry! Where “La Vie Bohème” toasts outsider pride in an East Village diner, “There!
Coupled with perfume, it’s hard to tell if what we see is culture or orientation.
Onstage, Emmett never argues; he backs Elle without question — a small but solid bit of friendship.
The number calls the puzzle a paradox; when the chorus shouts
Gay or European?the joke is that the two caricatures blur together.
The song trades on a broad notion that European men dress and act more flamboyantly, echoing qualities wrongly labeled “gay.”
When Warner blurts
Well, hey, don't look at me!the stereotypical straight, white American panics at even a passing suspicion of queerness.
Ciao, bella literally means “Hello, beautiful,” and the two-cheek kiss is a routine European greeting that can feel intimate to Americans.
Calling the issue “many shades of gray” reminds us identity isn’t a simple black-and-white split.
The crack that “the French go either way” pokes at both French stereotypes and bisexuality — a nod that Paris, at least in song, shrugs at rigid labels.
Enid, a staunch feminist, labels Nikos a metro, hetero jerk; to her, arrogance equals straightness.
Funny enough, a show smashing the dumb-blonde trope leans heavily on other clichés for laughs.
Genetically, medicallynods to the era when homosexuality was treated as a disorder — a view some far-right voices still push.
Stage business: Nikos steals a guard’s hat, kisses the stenographer’s hand — more clues in plain sight.
A working kilt is standard Scottish attire; a purse still scans feminine in many cultures.
continental chic—dressed up in silk socks and pointy-toe shoes.
At the bridge Emmett flips the script, grilling Nikos in clipped courtroom patter. Right There!
Look at that tan, that tinted skin.
Look at the killer shape he's in.
Look at that slightly stubly chin.
Oh Please he's gay, totally gay.
Calahan:
I'm not about to celebrate.
Every trait could indicate the totally straight expotriate.
This guy's not gay, i say not gay.
All:
That is the elephant in the room.
Well is it relevant to assume
that a man who wears perfume
is automatically matically fay?
Emmett:
But look at his quoft and crispy locks.
Elle:
Look at his silk translucent socks.
Calahan:
There's the eternal paradox.
Look what we're seeing.
Elle:
What are we seeing?
Calahan:
Is he gay?
Elle:
Of course he's gay.
Calahan:
Or European?
All:
ohhhhhh.
Gay or European?
It's hard to guarantee
Is he gay or european?
Warner:
Well, hey don't look at me.
Vivian:
You see they bring their boys up different in those charming foreign ports.
They play peculiar sports.
All:
In shiny shirts and tiny shorts.
Gay or foreign fella?
The answer could take weeks.
They will say things like "ciao bella"
while they kiss you on both cheeks.
Elle:
Oh please.
All:
Gay or European?
So many shades of gray.
Warner:
Depending on the time of day, the French go either way.
All:
Is he gay or European?
or
Eden:
There!
We're gay!
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