How to act not gay
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Especially when so many queer kids are kicked out of their homes.”
“And yet, shouldn’t you be allowed to tell your story?”
Ian twists his face as if to say, “I guess.”
I explain, “This dilemma—of gay males struggling to reconcile mixed messages they get from supportive mothers—is actually quite common.
She loves the finales when the parents are in the audience, crying, and saying how proud they are.”
I remind Ian about this version of his mom whenever he describes being anxious about making her uncomfortable. It’s like a virus within her. It’s those kinds of covert messages we often overlook in therapy, and, in many cases, they’re the most harmful.
O’Connell helps his client differentiate from his mother and see the negative impact her covert messages have on him while still allowing him to appreciate the good she’s done.
In my experience, they often get hung up on what their mothers do and don’t approve of.
Asexual individuals may still experience romantic attraction, and their relationships can be equally fulfilling.
Each of these orientations exists on a spectrum, and people may find that their attractions can change over time.
Your involvement can contribute to positive change for any gay person.
Encouraging Inclusivity
Encouraging inclusivity in all aspects of life, from workplaces to schools, helps create a more accepting and supportive environment for everyone.
The Importance of Mental Health and Support: The Joshua York Legacy Foundation
In the context of understanding and accepting diverse sexual orientations, the need for mental health support cannot be overemphasized.
A good mother allows her son the ability to stay true to his own needs and wants in a relationship. “It’s like I’m saying she didn’t do enough for me. This includes gay men and lesbian women.
When she sings and plays with my son, screen-to-screen, I recall the versions of her beyond her spotlight ambivalence: the person who always encouraged and enlivened me to be exactly who I am, the person who got me Miss Piggy, let me be a witch for Halloween, two years in a row, and bestowed two magnetic kissing male teddy bears on me and my husband for our first Christmas together.
In a recent call, I told her about the first time my son said b’bye to me, how he happily and confidently drove his riding-toy truck away from me in the kitchen, and how that brought tears to my eyes—also how he similarly marched off, a year later, on his first day of preschool.
Her reply transcended my expectations.
This blog aims to encourage everyone to love themselves for who they are, debunking myths about “how to stop being gay” and emphasizing the importance of self-acceptance and mental health.
In this post, we will explore the concepts of sexual orientation, same-sex attraction, and identity. Organizations like the Joshua York Legacy Foundation play a pivotal role in addressing the mental health challenges faced by individuals, particularly those within the LGBTQ+ community.
Founded in memory of Joshua York, the foundation aims to raise awareness about mental health and suicide prevention.
Beyond my own personal experience, I’ve heard variations on it from clients over the years, as well as from friends.”
As I say this to Ian, I’m aware that as important as it is to acknowledge this highly specific relationship between mothers and gay sons when it occurs, we must be careful about generalizing. They’d see me as a failure, a destroyer.”
“Your mom said all of that with her eyes?” I ask playfully, inviting him to keep exploring.
“Her eyes and her voice.”
“Can you share some examples?”
“When I was a kid, I loved The Nutcracker.
Even those of us who actively rail against those ideas.”
“That’s what I mean,” Ian says. Sharing your experiences and feelings with your partner can strengthen your bond.
Finding Acceptance
Finding a partner who accepts and loves you for who you are is crucial. It’s important to debunk these myths to promote a more accurate understanding and foster acceptance.
Myth 1: Sexual Orientation is a Choice
One of the most pervasive myths is that people can choose their sexual orientation.
It sounds weird when I say it aloud. But the quandary in which my mother and I were tangled was far more specific and complex than his pedestrian observation.
More stingingly, by attempting to be “neutral,” instead of openly acknowledging the details I described, not only did this therapist fail to mirror me, but he inadvertently recalled the very bind from which I hoped he’d help me escape.
It is often seen as the normative sexual orientation in many societies.
The Role of Religion and Faith
Religion can play a significant role in an individual’s life, and for some LGBTQ+ individuals, reconciling their faith with their sexual orientation can be challenging.
Positive Religious Communities
Many religious communities are becoming more inclusive and accepting of LGBTQ+ individuals.
This could include bars, clubs, or other locations that are known for attracting members of the LGBTQ community.
Practice Positive Self-Talk
It’s also important to practice positive self-talk when trying to break free from same-sex attractions. The practice is based on the false premise that being LGBTQ+ is wrong.
Legal and Advocacy Efforts
Many organizations and advocates are working to ban conversion therapy and support those affected by it.