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For the time being, I feel lucky to have a really, really good friend.

Talking about it becomes harder when I don’t know how to label what we have. Despite this, I haven’t slept with anyone else while I’ve been with Oliver. Sleeping with Oliver was the complete opposite. The first few months had all the expected exciting parts of sleeping with your best bud, but they were also tinged with this brand new fresh thing.

I’ve never seen a representation of what Oliver and I have. Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

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Dr. But he’s gay and I’m a woman—what do you even call that?
Over the last year I’ve pondered over how Oliver can be gay and still be attracted to me.

Way before Oliver, it struck me that demonstrating your love for somebody by dictating who they’re allowed to have sex with seems at best really fucking weird and at worst controlling and quite scary. What a treat.
While our sex lives have improved from being together, a year later I still feel nervous talking to my queer friends about our relationship.

It’s especially important for anal sex because, unlike the vagina, the anus doesn’t make its own lubricant.
Keep all toys clean. Sex toys can transfer infections from one person to another, so clean sex toys thoroughly in between use. Are we fuckbuddies?
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I'm a Woman Who's Sleeping With a Gay Man (Yes, He's Still Gay)

For the past year, I’ve been having regular sex with a gay man I'll call Oliver.

He maintains that he still is, and always has been, a gay man.

After the first time, we were predictably awkward and British about it. Whether you have a consistent partner or have more sporadic sex, getting tested is important. We both knew that he was doing something new, and our sex felt more like a comradic tutoring session. I would never know, because I’m too chickenshit to bring it up.

Therefore, if a gay man were to be attracted to men, but only ever one woman, then he would still be gay. Or at least, not in the sense of getting-married-having-babies-with-side-by-side-burial-plots type of Ones. I haven’t told any other queers I know about me and Oliver, because I’m worried they’re going to say that I’m invalidating gay identities, and that I’m endangering queer people.