Old grandpa gay

Befriend someone older. Watch them dance at Pride. Some older men carry biases, too. Interestingly, they’ve got stories.

Many survived a time when being out meant losing your job, your family, or worse. Ultimately, they found joy. Though it was usually for grandmothers, it could be used for grandfathers. That’s literary gold. Maybe even heal you.

You’ll gain perspective—and maybe a killer lemon bar recipe.

Friendship Doesn’t Require a Filter

Ageism in the gay community isn’t subtle—it’s in the swipe-lefts, the party invites, and the hashtags.

At our first planning meeting, Ray Hogenson, a founding member, put it succinctly:

“We are planting a tree we will never sit under.”

The CIRCLE makes a distinction between “elder” and “older.” An elder is someone who consciously claims that role through visibility in the community, is aware of being a part of the continuity of life, honors those who went before him, is of assistance to those who are coming after him, and actively tends to the spiritual needs of a community in the broadest sense of the word.

That’s the work of empathy, both on the page and in life.

We write to build bridges. Others won’t even like musicals. They’re the ones who carry the torch.

So light up your work with characters who’ve been around the block—and still own it.

Your Story Gets Better When You Listen to Theirs

Younger queer writers have every right to tell their own truths—and they do so with brilliance.

Just write them as being human.

In real life, striking up a conversation with someone older can flip your script. Or love. They remember when “coming out” was an act of courage, not content.

Want emotional stakes in your writing? the CIRCLE understands the West African saying:

“If elders are lost, adults will be lost; and if adults are lost, youth will be lost.”

It has been recognized throughout history and across cultures that life usually consists of four stages—youth, adult, elder and ancestor.

Listen. Writers need that.

Closing the Notebook, Opening the Door

If you’re writing queer stories, don’t stop at Gen Z. Older Gays Matter, so Reach across the generations. And yes, too different. Click here to sign in or get access.