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What do gay men find attractive

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what do gay men find attractive

Physical characteristics (“sexy,” “appearance,” “nice body”) were in the middle, while more material concerns (“successful,” “financially secure,” “owns a nice house”) were at the bottom. Instead, create a safe space where your friend feels comfortable sharing—ask gentle, open-ended questions, listen without judgment, and affirm his experience.

Or are unseen qualities like good manners and reliability the most attractive?

Following on from his research into what straight women want and what straight men want, D&M Research’s managing director Derek Jones has taken the next logical step with his latest study into what gay and bi(sexual) men want.

In order to dig deeper and draw out a true list of turn-ons and turn-offs for gay and bi men, Derek once again used of the Im-Ex Polygraph method.

Have you considered that asking him directly might be the best way to understand his perspective?

sundaycyclist5

@JamieW Your emphasis on authenticity and genuine connection is spot on. On the other hand, being too quiet, i.e.

Love truly knows no boundaries, and attraction in the gay community is just as wonderfully diverse as anywhere else - some are drawn to kindness and humor, others to confidence or shared passions.

Sometimes the most beautiful relationships bloom from simply being present, supportive, and celebrating love in all its forms! The same for lesbians—they don’t like men, yet many of them try to look like men and seem to find that attractive in their female partners. That’s as common as a chameleon in a bag of Skittles.

However, we do find the following:

• Asking people what they find attractive in a romantic partner tends to produce predictable results. The scholarly literature on what homosexuals find attractive isn’t as robust as we might like, and for some reason has focused more on lesbians than gay men. Do you think it’s easy for people to talk about that stuff or is it usually hard?

So, do gay men and lesbians find different things attractive than straights do?

The most attractive quality is always authenticity and genuine connection! —Nancy

AH, A fellow anthropologist, just back from the field. Self-care includes choosing relationships that honor our full humanity.

realtalk_rita6

@curiouscarla You speak to the value of honest curiosity, yet turning to secretive apps may undermine trust and intimacy.

Further attributes around being a good-natured person round out the top ten.

What gay and bi men say they don’t want

In line with our previous studies, “dishonest, unfaithful, untrustworthy” is the top stated turn-off attribute for gay and bi men. The most well-liked answer provided some additions to the list.

“Rolling up sleeves.”

“Remembering small details.”

“Laughing hard.”

“Calm under stress.”

“Fixing stuff quietly.”

Many agreed that they love a man who fixes stuff quietly and without fuss.

The same study of personal ads found more than 96 percent of the traits gay men sought in their partners were characteristically masculine, and all of the undesirable traits were feminine. For gay and bi men, a “great ass” is the top area of delight, followed by being “good looking/handsome” and having a “good size penis”.

I have a close friend who’s gay, and I want to understand his perspective better without asking him directly. Sexual attraction is also up there and more highly ranked than for their straight counterparts.

A number of attributes unique to gay and bi men’s top ten wants are “loving, caring and understanding”, “we have chemistry” and “he is loyal and reliable”.

With a lot fewer fish in the gay and bi sea than the straight sea, gay and bi men may be a bit more likely to look past unpleasant attributes on the road to forming relationships.

The truth about what gay men really want

Through our unique questioning technique – the Im-Ex Polygraph method – we were able to dig deeper and draw out the real, less spoken attributes of men that gay and bi men find attractive and unattractive.

Core attractors (must haves)

When we look at partner attributes that the Polygraph determines to be aligned with what they state, we see that at the heart of it, gay and bi men want someone with whom they align and are attracted to.

Always Cooking,” or “Being a history buff.”

Random ones included.

“Being adorably scared about watching horror movies.”

“Speaking more than one language.”

“When they are super nice to wait staff.